When close is just not close enough.

When I was brand new to this crazy, stressful, wonderful parenting game the first time round, a friend signposted me to a book called The Wonder Weeks, by Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij.  ‘Wonder Weeks’ essentially being explained as predictable cranky periods, preceding a big new step forward in physical skills, understanding or capabilities for your baby. It is my Teaser Tuesday choice for this week, and an absolute saviour for new parents looking for some confidence giving, baby-related logic and reassurance!

The book was a total revelation.  And the concept of Wonder Weeks helped enormously in making sense of some of those seemingly inexplicable periods in a baby’s life where everything goes completely off course, and then almost as suddenly, bounces straight back to normal again. It gave me so much comfort.  When I remember back to those first few months, I can clearly remember how totally overwhelming it sometimes felt, having this tiny, dependent, crying bundle to figure out.

Now we have our little man too, I don’t refer back to our parenting ‘library’ anywhere near as often as I did when our girly was young.  For me, it definitely feels more innate the second time round.  But I do dip in to The Wonder Weeks occasionally.  Normally when we are having a period of unsettled sleep or fussiness, which has me wondering if there might be a Wonder Week on its way.  This week I checked back in to the book for exactly that reason, and yes indeed, week 26 is one of the Wonder Weeks!  SO that explains that then!

‘One of the most significant relationships that your baby can now perceive is the distance between one thing and another.  We take this for granted as adults, but for a baby it is an alarming discovery, a very radical change in his world.’

The Wonder Weeks, Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij.

At the moment our little man is all smiles and laughter, until he thinks I might be trying to put him down or sneak out of the room without him!  The tears stop as soon as I give him a cuddle or hold his hand, but  whilst he goes through this temporary super-needy phase, close is just not close enough! But actually, that’s fine by me.  I am so keenly aware that already my tiny newborn baby is a bonny six month old who is rolling, and almost sitting upright by himself.  It is almost frightening how quickly it has happened.  So while he needs me to hold him close and cuddle, I am making every last second count.

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13 thoughts on “When close is just not close enough.

  1. Osyth

    I suppose that the fact that your girlie is visibly more independent as you noted in the last but one installment, means that you are even more tuned into the brevity of infancy. Which is great news for this super-adorable little boy of yours 🙂

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    1. jenny Post author

      Oh yes, totally! I am really feeling it at the moment – I love seeing every little new thing they do, but I also really ache over the feeling that my babies are growing up too fast!

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      1. Osyth

        Sadly that feeling never leaves – I imagine it is part of the natural condition of motherhood. It’s ridiculous – my eldest celebrated her 29th birthday on belated honeymoon with her husband in Antigua on Sunday and I had a little cry on my husband’s shoulder because someone else had made the cake – he reasoned that since I am in Boston it might have been a little difficult to ship it but I was still bereft!

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        1. jenny Post author

          It’s a bittersweet thing at times, isn’t it?! I’m not sure your cake for your daughter would have made it to Antigua in the best of shape, no! Oh, but I do hope there will be cake once you manage to catch up with each other. 🙂

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  2. Sarah Longes - Mirador Design

    He’s gorgeous Jenny 🙂 Such beautiful eyes! It really is frightening how fast they grow. Sounds like he’s right on track with the rolling 🙂 They’re still relatively easy to deal with at this stage but he’s going to be on the move soon and then it’s just a constant game of catch the baby until they’re almost ready for nursery!! My step-grandson is two and half, a gorgeous pickle and already a sprinter 😉 He’s actually pretty good for a toddler boy but once he’s off that’s it!! It’s ok if we’re at the park or Wisley but I get worried if Charlotte leaves him with me in the village with the roads.

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    1. jenny Post author

      Thank you, Sarah! Baby eyes are really something else aren’t they?! I wish I had his gorgeous long, dark eyelashes. Your step grandson is the same age as my girly and he sounds utterly adorable! But you are absolutely right – once they are moving, everything gets a million times harder! I am enjoying the (relative!) calm with this little one whilst I still can… 🙂

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      1. Sarah Longes - Mirador Design

        Oh I can lose myself in baby eyes 🙂 My cousin’s little boy had the most amazing eyelashes!! He’s three now and is such a looker. Takes after our paternal side of the family. The grandson, Matthew, has perfected “cute” 😉 Getting him back from Greece after our wedding was interesting as everyone out there wanted to keep him lol! We have an interesting time when the boys come to ours as they both adore our cats but the feeling is no longer mutual. The cats like babies until they start to self propel. Cats aren’t stupid 😉

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        1. jenny Post author

          Me too! 🙂 Matthew sounds like a very sensible boy, perfecting ‘cute’ so early. He will go far! 😉

          Ha – cats definitely have a very strong self-protection instinct don’t they? What our girly wouldn’t do to be able to cuddle every cat she crossed paths with, before they instantly scarper!

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          1. Sarah Longes - Mirador Design

            Our Luna hides behind the sofa and Juno either exits from the window or hides behind a bit of the curtain on the bedroom windowsill 😉 Juno is better at tolerating kids than Luna so I do have a few photos of her investigating our little visitors. Matthew’s a genius!! He totally knows how to get what he wants. He’s going to be a terror with the girls in his teens though, far too charming!

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            1. jenny Post author

              Oh, bless your cats – I can just imagine. They sound like they are pretty tolerant compared to some! Especially Juno – what a star. 🙂

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