A gap of five long months from blogging, and what have I learnt?
Well, mostly that hormones are a serious force to be reckoned with! I’m now the proud mum of our second child. Very nearly six weeks old, and I feel like the fog is finally lifting as the hormones balance out again and daily life with a tiny new person gradually becomes more familiar and routine. There is something about being pregnant – for me at least – which seems to entirely shut down my capacity to concentrate and my professional/productivity drive. Am I alone? Surely I can’t be?
I think the ‘baby brain’ concept is maybe a nod towards it. But it feels like much, much more than that. Both times I’ve been pregnant I’ve lost my drive to create and write, and do things that are more closely career related for me. All that energy that I’d normally put into those things goes into baking cakes, sewing things for the nursery, doing things around the house.
I know women tend to go into ‘nesting’ overdrive in the last few weeks, but I seem to also have a slow-burn approach to nesting which lasts my entire pregnancy. I guess it is fundamentally biology doing what it does best by protecting and nurturing that growing tiny life, thereby ensuring the survival of the species? Well, if I explain it that way it makes it feel less lazy than just saying I became totally bone idle for months on end!
I’m normally incredibly driven and always on the go, so I find it very hard to reconcile pregnant me with ‘normal’ me. When the hormones are in full flow I lack the motivation to even read a blog, never mind write one!
Anyway…I’m back! I am loving feeling – and thinking – more like me again, and wanting to write again. I’ve got no idea at the moment how I’m going to routinely carve out time to blog. Or even whether I’ll really have anything to say about anything interesting at all, as my 24 hour clock now revolves entirely around eat-sleep-nappy change cycles! But it felt important to write a return. Even if I don’t manage to get free hands to write a follow-up anytime soon, at least I know that my brain is (semi!) back in the game. That’s good enough for tonight at least!